I present you an example of an emotional wave pattern and waiting. All names in this story have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent. There is a Wave Pattern Table/Key is at the bottom of my story.
I’ve lived in my apartment for the last 16 years. We’ve gone through about four different on-site apartment manager couples. About a year-and-a-half ago, we got new apartment managers and boy-oh-boy, what a downgrade in service we tenants have received since. It takes the managers forever to do anything around the property let alone get repairs done in the apartments. The tenants complain to the management company, but nothing has changed.
The 30 unit apartment complex is located on a hill and there are roughly four levels of apartments. When I look out my window, I look right into the swimming pool. I didn’t know that the pool and Jacuzzi leaked; the managers mentioned it one day as they were filling the pool. One day I “tuned in” and thought, “Is it me or has the water been running a long time?” I walked out to look at it and the Jacuzzi was over flowing. I told the manager and she said, “Thanks for telling me. I forgot about it.” This happened a few more times. Then on Father’s Day 2010, I went over to a friend’s home around 3pm and didn’t come home until 11:00pm. I walked in and got about 5 feet away from the windows and felt my socks soak up water. They had left the water running for at least 8 hours and it flooded my apartment, the laundry room next to me, and the recreation room next to that. They did a quick clean up the next day, but it didn’t feel like it was dry and I kept telling them this. I finally got their attention when I told them that I spoke to a mold expert. They moved some of my belongings out of my apartment and left dryers on for four days to fully dry my carpet. In those four days I went and stayed with my friend Cheryl, her husband, and their roommate.
I’ve known Cheryl for at least 20 years. We were in each other’s lives for many years and then things started to not feel right to me so I stepped back from our relationship. We’d stay in touch, but not really hang out.
WAVE #1: I was ANGRY about the lazy and incompetent apartment managers and I got it into my head that I wanted to move to a new apartment. Actually, I want to move into a house, but I can’t afford to live in the city where I currently live, let alone anywhere near my job and own a home. I started looking around at apartments and I found one that I really liked and even got accepted to move into it, but fear gripped me and I didn’t move in. WAVE #2.
I’ve lived in my apartment for 16 years…this is my home! I didn’t realize how attached I was to it until the issue of moving came up and seeing the reality of what was available and what things cost, hit me. I did not feel/think that I could move to a new place and live on my own. I don’t know where that came from as I’ve lived alone for the last 16 years.
Due to the housing mortgage nightmare that a lot of folks are experiencing, Cheryl and her housemates were moving out of their home and we talked about getting a place for the four of us. They said that they would need to rent for the next two years and then they would be ok to purchase something. I either assumed or they said that they would be in this new home rental for at least two years. We looked and looked and looked and Cheryl found something and decided to take it. WAVE #3 Everything was mostly going fine, but I noticed that Cheryl would say/agree to something one day and then a few days later say that she never said that or didn’t know what I was talking about. Hmmm. I also began seeing the dynamics of how these three people lived together and noticed that the husband and roommate kowtowed to Cheryl and her needs. Hmmmm.
I signed the lease with them, gave notice at my apartment, hired a moving company, packed up all my belongings, and put in address change notices. WAVE #4 About two weeks before the move, my stomach started bothering me on a regular basis and I wasn’t sleeping through the night. The stomach thing wasn’t so unusual to me, but the waking up thing was.
WAVE #5 I asked my friend, Kim, to muscle test me to see if my body was reacting to the move and the answer came back “no, don’t move.” Then I asked my psychic friend, Sharon, what the Tarot cards said and the same answer came up, “no, don’t move.” About a week before the move, I talked to Cheryl about my fears/concerns about moving in with her and she said that it was ok if I didn’t move in with them. WAVE #6 I waited until the night before the movers came to say “no.” I’m one of those people that when I give my word, it means something and I follow through. I just wish that I had been able to make the decision sooner and not at literally the last moment. Cheryl’s response to me not moving in is what helped me to cope with me breaking my word. Yes, I could tell that she was mad at me, but she didn’t take it out on me in an immature way. I’m very grateful for people with spiritual practices WAVE #7!
While they lived nearby (a 5 minute drive from my apartment), I saw them maybe four times a week (i.e. dinners and movies). The last I heard from them was the middle of July. I know that they were going back east to try and find a home to rent. They are currently packing up to move out of state. I knew that they would be busy packing up their home and sent an e-mail saying so. I received a two sentence reply and haven’t heard anything since.
I saw a note on FB where a friend of theirs was asking someone in the new city if she could give them her phone number…so they would have a connection there. What happened to them being here for two years? How come I haven’t heard from them to say goodbye? I would be in a pickle right now if I had moved in with them as I’m currently not working. WAVE 8
WAVE 9 Something has shifted in me lately, that moving fear thing is gone. I actually feel ready to move and not fearful of moving into a new location. I’ve been playing with the idea of moving out of state. I’m currently asking friends and acquaintances (open G center) for ideas and suggestions.
Wave Table
Wave 1 – Angry!
Wave 2 – Fear.
Wave 3 – I was happy that I was joining a family and getting to live in a big house – yea me!
Wave 4 – Body screaming out at me, “Don’t do it,” but I didn’t understand the message.
Wave 5 – Confusion.
Wave 6 – Felt pushed against the wall, unclear, and so I chose not to move in with them.
Wave 7 – Hallelujah!
Wave 8 – Open Spleen – letting go of what is no longer good for me and I feel ok with these people showing me their colors.
Wave 9 – Feeling confident and excited about newness and/or moving.
